Monday, Feb. 24, 2003 - 10:19 p.m.
So, the weekend. :-)
I had a wonderfully relaxing visit to Ohio with my man and my girls. It's amazing how the tension that can build up after two hundred fifty miles in the car by myself can completely drain with just one hug. After chatting with the girls in their room waiting for a few fleeting minutes, Josh appeared in the doorway returning from his afternoon errands. Just one hug (and a kiss to show off for the girls ;-)) made me completely relaxed for the remainder of my stay.
I had the most amazing time just sitting and talking with Josh, spending as much time with him as possible given my short visit, chatting it up with the girls, seeing Josh perform in a play (he is quite the thespian!), learning that I remember the words to all of my favorite Cake songs, and so much more. I feel like I'm taken back to my favorite period in my life when I'm with them.
I suppose that even though I am slipping further into what is considered adulthood with each passing day, my mind is still exactly where it was when I was twenty and living in the dorm. It's interesting that Josh wrote today about how he feels too old for his age, as I've had this nagging thought recently saying I'm too immature for my age. The thought lumbered to the forefront of my brain as I finally decided to see a doctor about my lack of voice.
**side note: I'm actually about twenty times better today than I have been in weeks. I even got to sing a bit at play rehearsal tonight! I'm just going to get checked out to make sure I stay that way**
I was sitting at my desk after lunch and suddenly realized, "I have no fucking clue how to get an appointment!" I got really panicky. You see, things have worked out for me in the past few years so that any time I've required medical attention, it always happened when I was at the home of the Parentals. I have it pretty easy there, as I can just go to the urgent care center a mile from the house, pay the fifteen dollar co-pay and be through with it.
Since I got my job, I have health insurance through UK's HMO that requires me to use the UK Med Center - a friggin' huge hospital. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it) I have not required any medical services in the last year or so. Thus, I had no idea where to call to get an appointment. I absolutely freaked myself out when I realized that I couldn't figure out who to call to have my throat looked at. This would be very different from going to the Urgent Care center where a girl I knew from high school runs the office.
So, I sat at the desk just staring into space. What if I got really sick? I don't even know where the emergency room is! What if I were put in the hospital? How does health insurance work, anyway? What does my health insurance cover? Do I even have the paperwork they gave me when I started working here? Do I have my HMO card? Things were much easier when I could just go to the hospital my dad used to work at.
Long story short, I managed to work my way through the labyrinth of automated phone messages to get to the Family Practice clinic where I now have an appointment at 8:30 in the morning to get checked out.
Now, all I worry about is if they have to take blood. I'll pass out. That's another story for another time.
But, I still rationalize that I am an adult because I own a dining table that I use regularly. It's a flimsy facade of maturity, but it's all I've got.
