Wednesday, Nov. 06, 2002 - 10:53 p.m.
After months of scrimping and saving, resisting the urge to partake in my daily Starbuck's fix, I was finally able to take a week-long vacation in New York City. Everything fell into place. I reserved a great hotel room in a botique hotel facing Central Park, scored a cheap plane ticket, packed a backpack, and set off for the Big Apple.
The first two days were great, seeing all the tourist sites, standing in the Today Show crowd, and getting on camera at TRL. After months of missing those Starbucks breaks, however, I was craving a chai like nobody's business.
My third day was spent randomly walking around the artsy districts, taking in the scenery and trying to blend in with the locals. After a few hours of walking, my chai craving was still not subsiding. Then I saw it. Like a beacon in the night.
Central Perk.
Could this be true? Does this place actually exist? Are Monica, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, and Joey sitting on the velvet couch? Is Guenther sassing people?
I timidly opened the door and stepped inside. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and ground beans took over me. A quick scan of the place, and I think I saw God. I passed out on the spot.
-insert huge missing chunk of my day here-
I woke up to find Chandler, Monica, and Joey standing around me. I was lying in a bed. In a white cotton gown. That didn't cover my ass.
Wait a minute. Did I say Chandler, Monica and Joey were in the same room as me? Whoa!
"How you doin'?" Joey asked.
"I.... uhh.... ummm... GAH!!!!!!!!" I couldn't formulate a sentence.
"Could he be more clueless?" Chandler asked nobody in general.
"But you're... I mean... I'm... ummm... you're... just characters..." I was still having a bit of trouble.
The three of them looked thorougly confused.
"Look," Monica asserted, visibly annoyed. "I don't know what your deal is, but this little episode of yours is preventing me from serving dinner to Rudy Giuliani."
"Hang on," Chandler said. "This guy thinks we're characters? What the hell does that mean?"
I pointed at Chandler. "You! Friends! Chandler!"
The three of them gasped, shocked.
"How does he..." Joey asked, truly surprised yet characteristically clueless.
"Screw it," Monica snapped. "I'm outta here. Chandler?"
"Yes dear."
-cut to Central Perk-
"So, he thinks we're characters." Ross said, trying to wrap his brain around the situation. "On a television show."
"Could you be more clueless?" Chandler retorted.
"Dude." Joey said. "You've got to find a new catch phrase. That one's played out."
"What?" Chandler whined. "It's uniquely mine? Hold me, Mon."
-cut back to the hospital-
I can't believe it. I just met half of the Friends. They were in the same room as me. And I was just a bit player in an episode, I just know it.
Cool.
