Tuesday, Apr. 08, 2003 - 1:14 a.m.
Have I ever told you how much I love my apartment building? If not, let this be my profession of affection. Right now as I type at 1:14 a.m., the following is happening:
-The cops are arresting two guys in the back parking lot (just outside my bedroom window). Apparently, they managed to drunkedly drive into the parking lot, get themselves stranded, and start a rather heated altercation, whereupon one of the accused started screaming to the other "You almost mutherfuckin' killed that man! You almost mutherfuckin' killed that man!" If you have ever seen where I have to park, you would be amazed that anybody can make it to the parking lot even while sober, as the only way in and out are alleyways barely wide enough for a mid-size car.
-Two cops are questioning my neighbor across the hall about it, because she is apparently dating one of the accused, and ran outside as soon as the po-po showed up. It's like a bad episode of C.O.P.S. sans trailer park and mullets.
(Side story: she is apparently being evicted because she is constantly getting in loud fights with one of her many boyfriends. The only reason I know about it is because of my nosy, yet sweet elderly lady next door. On a weekly basis she drops off some baked goods and the latest gossip.)
-Some girl down the hall is apparently breaking up with her significant other via the phone. She keeps yelling something about "I gotta have my space, honey!"
-Downstairs, some drunk and/or stoned guy is professing his love for the creepy guy in the basement apartment by yelling incoherently at his door and farting loudly. I shit you not.
-An acquaintance of the two guys being arrested is pacing the halls calling everyone he knows on his cell phone to scrounge up enough money for bail. He just hung up with someone named "Cooter." Again, I shit you not.
If I wasn't taking tomorrow off, I'd be rather pissed right now. As is, I'll be watching out my bedroom window for the paddy wagon to show up. I can't wait to see how they maneuver one of those things back there!
ADDENDUM - 1:42 a.m.
Some idiot down the hall started blasting his insipid thrash metal music at such a volume that it's making my walls shake three doors down. Granny next door just called the cops. Remind me to never mess with that woman.
